we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
