omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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