Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
