And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
