If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The beer is more important than you right now.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
