does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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