I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
jump out the window naked night went bad
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