Rock
Scissors
Fuck
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
