for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
