all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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