i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
