He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
