Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
