i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
