What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
