Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
