Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
