O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
