I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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