this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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