my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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