No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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