It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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