Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
