I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
