she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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