omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
