We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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