Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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