There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just had sex on a roof
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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