Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
