This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
