I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
