hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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