Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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