bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
