It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she smelled like a LAN party
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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