My nipple is on Facebook.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
