i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
