She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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