when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
