dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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