i just had sex bonerless
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
