Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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