I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
my poor anus
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
