taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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