Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You need Xanax blowdarts
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
