Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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