I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
