He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
