You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
