I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Someone shattered a urinal.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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