His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I love having hate sex.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
