So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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